Drunken Carmelita
by Jjmt
Summary: Carmelita is drunk and bumps into Sly. What will happen when the vixen confesses things to her beloved raccoon?
1. Chapter 1

Drunken Carmelita

Sly was casually strolling on the rooftops of Paris. He enjoyed the wind blowing through his fur, especially after crawling out from a stuffy air vent. He and his gang had just successfully pulled off another daring heist and Bentley and Murray were just now taking their price to the hideout. There had been exhibit on rare rings in the museum. Bentley had read about it a week before the grand opening and made a plan. Pulling off the heist had been fun, but Sly couldn't help but to feel that something was missing.

 _"Let's see... I broke in, Bentley hacked the security system, I avoided the guards, cleaned off all the showcases, thought about how I should give one of the rings to Carmelita..."_ Sly flow of thought cut when the vixen came to his mind.

 _"Where is she? She's usually at the crime scene by now"_ Sly wondered.

 _"I hope nothing's happened to her..."_ he thought ominously, but then had a thought.

He contacted Bentley: "Hey, Bent, did you notice something off with our robbery just now?"

 _"Well... nothing, except deducing from your the silence at your end, Inspector Fox is not yet at least shooting and cursing you in Spanish"_ the turtle answered.

"Yesh... That's what I was thinking... Say, Bentley, could you find out why she isn't here yet?" Sly asked.

Bentley sighed at hearing this.

 _"Well if you must now. Hold on a minute"_ came an answer and a noise of typing.

Sly stopped and held his breath.

 _"It says here that she's on a... holiday?"_ Bentley informed, sounding surprised.

"On a holiday? Since when is Carmelita on holidays?" Sly asked, just as surprised as his turtle friend.

 _"I have no idea, Sly, but we should just be grateful for an opportunity to pull off at least one heist without her on our tails"_

"Aww, come on, pal, I'm really the only one she chases and I enjoy every second of it" Sly retorted smirking.

 _"Yes, that's what worries me..."_ Bentley answered.

"You know what, Bentley? I think I'm gonna go check on her" Sly announced abruptly.

 _"What!? Why!?"_ the turtle exclaimed in shock.

 _"Really, Bentley, ya know full well why he's going"_ Murray interjected.

Another sigh from Bentley.

 _"Fine, but it's your funeral,_ pal" Bentley said and hung up.

Sly chuckled and headed towards the vixen's apartment.

* * *

Once there, Sly perched himself on a windowsill and began working on the lock of the window. Carmelita had put a lock on every possible entrance for Sly to use to break into her apartment, but of course they didn't stop the raccoon. Very soon the lock let out a satisfying "click" and the window slid open. Sly slipped into a spacious living room and looked around in the dark. When he saw nothing notable he walked to the bedroom door and carefully slid it open and peered inside. What he saw surprised him: The bed was empty, there was no one there.

 _"Where could she be at this hour?"_ Sly thought.

He pondered for a moment before bringing his hand to his ear.

"Bentley, she's not home. Could you please locate her?"

 _"Fine! But seriously the funeral is yours"_

"Just do it"

Sigh and typing.

 _"She's in the address Rue de la Post 89"_

"Thanks, pal"

He got no answer.

Sly climbed out of the window, onto the roof and broke into a run.

* * *

 _"Here we are, Rue de la Post 89"_ the raccoon thought, looking around for any sign of Carmelita.

But all he could see were some little shops and a pub. Sly scanned the area once more and stopped his gaze to the bar.

 _"Could she really be in a... pub?"_ Sly questioned.

He shrugged. _"Why not?"_

The raccoon walked into the pub. It was just a small, dimly lit room. In the corner was small stage, in the middle there were just some tables with a few customers sitting and drinking. The left side of the pub was dominated by a counter and at it sat a familiar looking vixen...

"Carmelita" Sly said out loud as he began to make his way to the fox.

He was close to her when a silent voice asked:

"Going for the vixen?"

Sly spun around and saw an elderly tiger with a bottle of rum. (Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum...)

"Yes" he answered curtly.

The tiger chuckled.

"I wish you luck with her. She can be rather temperamental"

"Trust me, I know" Sly smirked before continuing his way to Carmelita.

He sat next to her and was about to say something but was cut off by Carmelita: "How many times do I have to fold it into your thick skulls, I am not _interested_ "

She had a light slur in her voice indicating that she had already drunken a decent amount of alcohol. Sly had never seen Carmelita like this and the sight of the drunken vixen made him chuckle.

Carmelita tensed immediately and turned her head.

"Cooper" she whispered.

"Hello, inspector"

"Oh, Sly it's so good to see you!" Carmelita exclaimed quietly and smiled brightly.

"... What?"

Sly was very confused from the vixen's words.

"How did you find me here?" she asked.

"What...? Oh, Bentley traced your cell" Sly answered, still baffled by the sudden turn of events.

"Did he now? Don't tell me you were that desperate to see me" Carmelita asked teasingly.

Now Sly was just shocked.

"Um.. Carm, how much have you drunk?"

"I don't know. Haven't paid much attention" she answered casually.

"Perhaps you should go home" Sly suggested.

"Are you trying to get me alone with you? Is that what you're trying, Cooper, huh?" Carmelita asked leaning forwards and Sly couldn't help but a to blush.

"Aww, is my raccoon blushing"

 _"My raccoon? Did she just say my raccoon?"_ Sly thought.

"I... um... that is..." he stuttered.

"Come on, let's go" Carmelita said getting up.

She walked surprisingly well considering the amount of alcohol she'd consumed.

Sly was still very confused, but followed the vixen nonetheless. Upon passing the tiger's table Sly saw him wink at him.

"Hrr... it's so cold" Carmelita said, shivering. She had no jacket or anything.

Sly hesitated for a moment, but after deciding that she probably wouldn't mind, he put an arm around her.

"Better?"

"Mm... much better. You're really warm" Carmelita said and snuggled closer to the raccoon.

They began walking to her apartment.

"Carm, why are on a holiday?" Sly asked suddenly.

"My boss forced me. He said I was working too much"

"He's right there. You tend to overwork a little"

Carmelita frowned.

"Really?"

Sly nodded.

They arrived at her apartment and she opened the door. Sly let go of Carmelita and didn't follow her inside.

"I guess I'll be going now..." he said rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh, no you won't" Carmelita said and pulled him inside.

She dragged Sly to the living room and sat him on the couch. She sat next to him. They were silent for awhile until Carmelita broke it:

"I was really mad at my boss first for suspending me like that, but now I'm just happy he did"

"Why's that?" Sly asked.

"Because now I ran into you"

"And why is that a good thing?"

Carmelita suddenly shinned up to Sly's lap.

"Because I love you, Sly Cooper" she said before wrapping her arms around him pressing her lips to his.

Sly was beyond shocked from the vixen kissing him, but after composing himself for a minute Sly grabbed her waist and returned the kiss. After a moment of kissing the raccoon felt a pair of hands removing his shirt. Once Carmelita had thrown it away she turned to admire Sly's toned chest. She pressed her hands on it and leaned to kiss him again.

"Carmelita, wait" Sly said suddenly.

"What?" the vixen asked.

"I can't"

She was quiet for a moment.

"Why not?"

"You're drunk" he said, "It just doesn't feel right"

"It's okay, Sly. I'm not that drunk"

"Yes, you are. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. I don't want to do that"

"Sly, please" she pleaded.

"Carmelita, I love you and I promise you this: If you're just as eager to have sex next time we're both sober, then I won't say no"

"But I won't remember anything tomorrow. I never do"

"I'll get you to remember and besides, now I know you love me" Sly answered smiling.

She sighed.

"Fine"

Carmelita yawned and Sly chuckled.

"Are you tired?"

She nodded.

"I'll take you to bed" Sly whispered.

He scooped her up bridal style and carried to the bed. He pulled the covers over her and was about to leave, when Carmelita grabbed his hand.

"Don't go, Sly. Stay here with me" she pleaded.

"Are you sure? What about when you wake up not remembering anything?" Sly asked and was really little worried.

"You'll wake up before me anyway" she answered, "Just come here"

...

"Alright"

He laid down next to her. She turned and wrapped her arms around him and Sly in return pulled her close.

"Good night, Sly"

"Good night, Carm"

"Oh and just that you know: My shockpistol is in the nightstand drawer with the hand (yawn) cuffs"

 **It would seem I need to make this a twoshot, but whatever. To those who are still waiting an update on one of my three other stories: I'm sorry, but I'm facing a little writer's block and I was hoping this would help with it. Review and stuff...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, so here's chapter two for ya. Couldn't think of a good name so this'll have to do.**

Sly was sleeping contently next to Carmelita. The vixen on the other hand was in a state between coma and dream, a result from her late night trip to the pub. Neither of them had moved during the night and Carmelita was still clinging to Sly whereas the raccoon had his arms tightly wrapped around the vixen.

But, alas, the cruel light of the morning blazed into the room and straight to the raccoons eyes, tearing him from the sweet world of dreams. (Sorry 'bout that, I've been reading some poetry from the 17th century)

He yawned mightily before opening his eyes and looking around.

Sly's eyes widened when he saw the very familiar thicket of blue hair. He panicked for a fleetingly short moment, before the memories from last night flowed back into his mind.

 _"She was right. I did wake up before her"_ Sly thought, _"That's probably for the best"_

He started getting up, but was yanked back by Carmelita. She tightened her grip around Sly and the raccoon came to realize that he wouldn't easily wiggle out of her grasp.

 _"Ok, this complicates things a little"_ Sly thought.

He tried again to get out of Carmelita's hold, but it only caused her to wrap her legs around his waist and even her tail moved itself to rest on his thigh.

Sly sighed loudly. He thought the situation for a moment, but couldn't think of any alternative than to wake her up. He sighed again and then took a deep breath.

"Carmelita" he said.

No response.

"Carmelita" Sly said more loudly, moving closer to her ear and giving her a shake.

She let out a weak "hmh" and stirred slightly.

Sly gave her another shake.

"Caaaarm... wake up"

"Stop it, Cooper, I want to..." Carmelita never finished the sentence.

Her eyes shot open and when the vixen saw the situation she disentangled herself from Sly with extraordinary speed.

"COOPER! WHAT THE HELL?!" she bellowed jumping off from the bed.

Apparently yelling wasn't the best idea when so hungover, because Carmelita instantly grabbed her head.

"Ugh, my head" she groaned rubbing her temples.

Sly reached out to touch her: "How are you feeling, Carm?"

Carmelita swatted his hand away.

"Why are you here?!" she growled.

Sly thought about the situation for a moment as he got up and moved to stand in front of the nightstand, which fortunately was on his side of the bed. It was only then when Carmelita noticed that Sly was shirtless.

"Cooper?" she shrieked paling, "Why.. exactly... were you in my bed... _without_ a shirt"

" _You_ took it off, remember?" Sly asked.

Carmelita looked like she'd been hit with something. Then her eyes widened and she became even more pale.

"We didn't... right?" she whispered with something in her voice that Sly interpreted as... disappointment?

Then the realization hit him:

 _"She thinks we had sex and now she can't remember it_ and _she's disappointed because of it_ "

Sly laughed hard at realizing this, which was not very wise move with the volatile and hungover vixen.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!?" she bellowed again, ignoring the headache.

"Oh, nothing" Sly said still chuckling, "And don't worry Carm, we didn't do anything last night, apart from little kissing and you removing my shirt"

"What?" she whispered.

"Carm, what do you remember of last night?" Sly asked.

"What? Um... I went to the pub nearby and, and, and..."

"Got pretty drunk?" Sly suggested.

"Yeah, probably" Carmelita said. The anger had completely left her voice.

"Do you remember what happened after that?"

"N-No" she looked at Sly, "What happened after that?"

"I found you in that little pub and your reaction was... hmm... how to say... unexpected" Sly concluded.

"What did I do?" she whispered in slight horror.

"You were really happy to see me and you um... might have flirted with me and made me... blush" he told her, holding back laughter.

Carmelita had now grown as pale as a ghost.

"A-And"

"I walked you home and _I_ was about to leave, _but_ _you_ wanted me to come here and you... um... confessed that..." his voice faded away.

"What? What did I say?"

"You told me you loved me" Sly said, coming to stand in front of Carmelita.

The vixen said _or_ did nothing.

Sly looked her in the eyes.

" _Do_ you love me, Carmelita?"

There was a long silence. Sly looked into Carmelita's eyes and she stared right back.

"I do, Sly"

"You do what?" Sly asked teasingly.

Carmelita smiled.

"I do love you, Sly" she said.

Suddenly she grabbed his face and pulled the raccoon into a kiss, but not before she had muttered "Damn you, Cooper". Sly only smirked before returning the kiss. They both enjoyed the feeling, especially Carmelita, since she was now sober and was able to savor the kiss more better.

Once they broke the kiss Sly spoke: "Oh and by the way, there's one other thing I neglected to mention"

"Hmh? What's that?" Carmelita asked curiously.

"You were also very eager to have sex, when you were drunk" Sly smirked widely at the blushing vixen.

"It's your fault" she retorted burying her face in his chest.

"My fault?"

"You're too hot" she said, blushing like never before.

Sly just laughed.

"Am I now?"

"Yes, you are"

"But you Carm" Sly said bringing her face to face his, "You're still way more beautiful" and with those words he kissed her.

Carmelita broke the kiss suddenly and looked at Sly.

"Now go get me some takeout, Ringtail, I'm hungover _and_ very hungry"

Sly chuckled.

"Anything for you, Carmelita my love"

 **This is seriously the shortest chapter I've ever written. Feels odd. Review and stuff...**

 **P.S The story ends here**


End file.
